Not one,.. do I want to speak about today. What it is, what was, what it has done, what it represents. I’m over it, and yet I never will be. See, I AM trying to heal. But healing does NOT mean moving on like all of you suggest or believe, that’s never been how it works. ‘Moving on’ from your heart is basically impossible, but I’ll let you ponder that on your own time/terms, unless you happen to find out directly(which is rough, trust me).

For 20 years this day has done me so many ways, but for the 20th year to be paired w/Mother’s Day it was almost too cruel to be true. Either way, my tearing my hip flexor back on the 3rd put me in SO much pain, that it served as a direct buffer and distraction from this heartache that was hanging over me like a crow on a wire, waiting his turn to haunt me. Agony vs. agony,.. that’s been the true solution this whole time?

Of course…

Goodbye May 14th, you’re gone for another year. And even though I say this to myself EVERY year, I’ll say it aloud this time, that I don’t care if I never see you again.

My loved ones don’t mean to haunt me, they still love me as much as I them, but our love is connected to where they are now through a mournful loss, leading me, to actually haunt myself.

Sure, I’m my own ghost story. You’re not and good for you. As far as May 14th goes I’d rather not say another word about it. Not now, not…..

Goodbye Donna, goodbye Moms,… I love you both, endlessly.